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Parenting is hard. Even after five kids, I’m still making a lot of mistakes. Like forgetting that my child’s misbehavior is often just a sign that they need more of my attention and my time.
Kids don’t always know how to tell us what they need. So it comes out in whining, crying, acting out, annoying behaviors that can drive us crazy. Sometimes they’re tired or hungry… but often times, we are so wrapped up in our own to-do list that we haven’t filled up their cups.
A few months ago, I was reminded that sometimes all it takes is 20 minutes of one-on-one time to turn a day around. I was getting angry that my child was repeatedly misbehaving. I couldn’t get done the things I needed to get done!
But then I remembered… he is the most important item on my list. So I stopped what I was doing, put aside my to-do list, and we played a game. It was simple, but it was just what he needed. The rest of the day, he played happily without me needing to be right by his side.
And at the end of the day, he could not stop telling me how much he loved me. His cup had been filled.
This doesn’t mean that all misbehavior can always be corrected this way, but isn’t this how our correction often comes from the Lord? He doesn’t push us away – He draws us close. His correction is always rooted in love. He doesn’t come to us annoyed and frustrated, yelling or threatening. He is slow to anger and quick to love.
Some days I need that tattooed on my forehead… be slow to anger and quick to love.
I don’t want to lose the hearts of my kids in my efforts to correct their misbehaviors. I want everything I do to be rooted in love, pointing them back to the One who loves them more than I ever could.
Sometimes I try this little breath prayer:
Breathe in the peace of Christ
Breathe out my impatience and anger
Is there anything you do in these moments that you find helpful?