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Beyond just wanting our kids to be academically successful or have a great career, we want our kids to grow in godly character. We want them to grow to be men and women who live out their faith with integrity and grow to be adults who are honest, kind, and loving.
Some character traits you may want to study: courage, perseverance, responsibility, work, self-discipline, compassion, faith, honesty, loyalty, generosity, thankfulness, wisdom, discernment, obedience, and friendship.
Study God’s Character
For kids to grow in godly character, they need to study the true nature of who God is! And if we want to teach them, we need to be growing (and knowing) ourselves.
This could be as simple as googling “verses about God’s character” and memorizing them. Or you and your kids could study His character together with a guided study. Here are some books that you could use:
For Mom:
For Kids:
The Character of God – a study of who God is
My Scripture Workbook – Bible verses about character (copywork book)
Create a Family Motto
As a family, create a family motto or a phrase that you can say together to reinforce what you’re trying to teach your kids. It could be as simple as:
“In our family, we try our best, tell the truth, and follow Jesus.”
“In our family, we are honest, patient, and kind to one another.”
You don’t have to have one family motto that covers everything! You could come up with simple phrases for different character traits. For example, we say things like “In our family, brothers take care of each other” when our kids aren’t being kind to one another. This has been super helpful in teaching them how to be compassionate and kind. It also focuses on the positive – instead of talking about what they shouldn’t do (ex: “Stop being mean!”) we talk about and reinforce how they should behave.
Point Out Their Strengths
There are areas where your kids need to grow, but they have character traits that are their strengths. Don’t just focus on the bad – point out the good! When they show patience with a sibling, point it out! When they have the chance to tell the truth and they DO, thank them for being honest (even if they were disobedient in another way).
Do your kids recognize their own strengths? Ask them to identify character traits that they have improved on, need to work on, or that the Lord has given them grace for.
Pray
If we want our kids to grow in character and virtue, we need to first start by praying for them! Ask the Father to show you ways that you can help them to grow. Pray Scripture over them.
Teach then how to pray for these traits as well! If they are impatient with their siblings, teach them how to pray for the Holy Spirit to give them more patience. If they are struggling with telling the truth, teach them how to pray for self-control and honesty. Pray with them or as a whole family to grow together in godly character.
Memorize Scripture
Memorize Scripture that helps to reinforce godly character. Copying verses – either just on plain notebook paper or in the Scripture Workbook mentioned above – is a great way for kids who can read and write to practice and memorize verses. You can also choose your own verses and have your kids copy them into a journal.
Model It
One of the best ways to teach your kids good character is to just model it in your own life. None of us is going to be perfect, but do we apologize when we mess up? Do we pause before yelling and calm our tone? Do we keep our promises to our kids? Do we follow through on discipline?
If you’re struggling in any area, commit this to prayer and give yourself grace as you practice and grow. Talk about it with your kids! Tell them, “Mama is learning to be patient, just like you. I’m sorry for being impatient and yelling today. Let’s pray together for Mommy to be more patient next time.”
One at a Time
Don’t try to focus on every single character trait at once. Spend some time intentionally focusing on one character trait for a time (maybe a few weeks at a time). Then circle back to the same character traits after awhile to review them. If you came up with a phrase or motto, continue to use it, even when you aren’t specifically working on that character trait.
Show them Examples
Bible
Read Scripture and point out character traits of men and women who demonstrate faith, obedience, compassion, kindness, etc. Obviously studying Jesus is the ultimate example of good, godly character. :)
Real life
Find stories of real people who show examples of godly character. These are some books that we use in our house:
Brave Heroes and Bold Defenders
Courageous World Changers
Christian Heroes, Then and Now
Value Tale series – this series is an older series that takes the story of a real person and highlights a character trait they portray, like compassion, commitment, giving sharing, etc. I recommend searching for these on used bookstores like Thrift Books or Amazon and find the best prices. Some of them are quite inexpensive, but a few books are hard to find and much more expensive. But they are GREAT stories!
Fiction Books
If you’re working on a particular trait, head onto Pinterest to search (ex: “picture books about compassion”). I find Pinterest a better way to search than google when I’m looking for books. You could also ask your local librarian.
Values to Live By series – this is another older series that’s great for younger kids, and your best place to search for these is ThriftBooks. They have books on self-control, patience, pride, fairness, helpfulness, understanding, etc. It’s a wonderful series!
This post has an incredible list of books for building character!
The Children’s Book of Virtues is an excellent treasury of stories, poems, etc. on courage, perseverance, compassion, and faith.
Curriculum
There are a few curriculum options you can use to study character:
Beautiful Feet Books – Teaching Character Through Literature (there is a K-3 and a 4-6 option)
Dash Into Learning – the Dash Into Happy program teaches about social-emotional resilience, which goes great with teaching character building. Use code SILOANDSAGE to save 15% storewide.
Rooted Childhood – these seasonal programs use stories, handicrafts, and hands-on activities. While they are not directly about character building, many of the classic stories used provide lots of opportunities to talk about good character building. Use code SILOANDSAGE to save 10% storewide.