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We all have seasons of motherhood that we have loved, and those that we are happy to leave behind. The hard seasons of constant tantrums, little sleep, and challenging behavior can make you feel like you’re a bad mom, doing it all wrong.
But then you feel guilty for having those feelings and wanting your child to just please outgrow this stage. Because you’re supposed to savor the moment, right? Enjoy it now, because they’re only little for so long! Right??
It’s all true… they are only little for so long. But how you feel about your current season doesn’t make you a good or bad mom.
You’re allowed to mourn AND be excited about the change in your motherhood season. These feelings can coexist. And to be honest, they probably always will!
Here’s what I mean…
- You can love your baby, but hate being pregnant.
- You can love your child, but be frustrated about their challenging behaviors.
- You can love your teen, but feel heartsick over their choices.
- You can love homeschooling, but ache for a bit more time to yourself.
- You can love your toddler, but long for your sleep again.
- You can love being a mom, but need a vacation from your kids.
With each season of motherhood, I’ve felt a mixture of mourning and excitement. I feel it now, as my youngest is six, and my motherhood shifts out of the “little kid” space. I feel it as my oldest two are teenagers, quickly moving closer to adulthood and needing me less and less.
So I’m going to sit in that liminal space for awhile… mourning that this season of young kids won’t last forever, and looking forward to the days ahead. This doesn’t mean you aren’t enjoying your current season or that there’s something wrong with what you’re doing right now. It means that you’re a normal human with normal human emotions!
Loving our kids well doesn’t mean that we’ll love every moment of our motherhood. But sometimes we are going to love our current season so much that we miss it when it’s gone. I will probably always miss those sweet baby snuggles and the cute toddler sayings. But I am also enjoying watching my kids get older, pursue their passions, hone their skills, and become these incredible young adults!
However you feel about your current or coming season, your feelings don’t determine your worth as a mom. And there’s a mama who’s feeling those same feelings with you.