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If you are considering or have started homeschooling, you will notice that people have a LOT of opinions. Your parents or in-laws, your best friend, neighbors, or strangers on the internet are not owed a say in your family decisions. You can respectfully disagree! Some opinions may be valid, but oftentimes those opinions can get in the way of you pursuing your ideal schooling situation.
Here’s the thing: unless this person has significant consideration in your children’s homeschool (ex: a spouse or co-parent), you do not have to give their opinions any weight.
I know that’s easier said than done, but when it comes down to it, YOU are the one responsible for your child’s education. YOU are the one who knows what’s best for your kids. YOU are the one who needs to feel good about the type of education your children are getting.
Remember how engrained the traditional school model is in our society. It can be hard to explain to someone who is only familiar with public school how different homeschooling is. If he or she has had a negative experience with homeschoolers in the past or has watched a TV show with “weird” homeschooled families, it can be hard to break that stereotype.
The best thing you can do is show them how well-adjusted and well-educated your children can be when homeschooled! Prove them wrong! It’s not your job to convince them, though. Trying to bring them over to your side isn’t worth your efforts or the arguments.
This certainly doesn’t mean you need everything in your homeschool to be picture perfect or that you need to let them quiz your kids every visit (in fact, please don’t let them do that!). But by building a homeschool that nurtures your child’s natural desire to learn and creating an environment that welcomes curiosity and creativity, you will show them how homeschooling IS a valid and effective form of education.
Try saying something to move an unproductive conversation along like “We believe this is the best choice for our family” or “We’re going to homeschool until it doesn’t work for us, and it’s working great right now.” If you find yourself in a confrontation and the conversation is turning into more of an argument, it’s perfectly fine to say something like “Thank you for your opinion, but I don’t think this conversation is getting us anywhere. Let’s agree to disagree.” You don’t need to justify your decision to homeschool to anyone, even people you love and respect!
If you and your husband don’t agree on homeschooling, I’m so sorry. It is a very challenging situation, and often one parent is the primary driver of the idea of homeschooling. Most likely, you are the one who has done the research, read the books, and talked to other homeschool moms. Bringing your husband along for the research part of the journey can be so helpful! If you’re a VIP member of CYH, you have access to the How to Homeschool Workshop, which is so perfect for an unsure spouse to watch.
If you feel very strongly about homeschooling, I’d also encourage you to discuss a “homeschool trial” year to test out homeschooling, to see if you can get on the same page and see the benefits of homeschooling. Ultimately, you have to make a decision that will work for you both.
And even if you’ve been blessed with a supportive family or community, there will be times that they will disagree or seem to judge your choices. They might say something like “But you’re going to send them to high school, right?” or “What are your kids doing to actually learn [insert subject here]?” Just remember that they aren’t the ones who are responsible for your children’s education.
Bring it all back to the Lord. Prayerfully consider other opinions or ideas, if you think they could have merit. But ultimately, the decision belongs to you and your husband. You are free to toss out any opinions that don’t align with what you believe the Lord is calling your family to do!