When Your Kids Hate Reading (and what to do about it)

Not every child is born with an innate love for reading. Even kids who are born into families with parents who love reading may be slow to embrace the book-loving life. When your kids hate reading (or claim to), it can cause tension over lessons and frustration over expectations. And they certainly won’t be picking up a book for fun! It turns out, you may be doing some things that are actually making it worse; actually making your kids hate reading more! But don’t worry, I’m going to help you stop doing those things and give you some practical ways that you can help change your kids’ minds about reading.

When it comes to reading, there’s no one size fits all. As home educators and parents, we’re doing the things we think we’re supposed to do. This is the way things have always been done, definitely in classrooms and even within home education.

We’re doing these things because it’s the common, “normal” thing to do. Not because it’s actually beneficial for our kids and their love of reading.

Grab the free list:

If your child loves reading already, you may not need to change what you’re already doing. You could look through this list and think, “my kids don’t hate this! They love this!” And that’s great.

But the reality is much different for a struggling or reluctant reader. Here’s a little picture:

For a child who already loves to read, it feels like a confident hiker, hitting a new trail. It’s stretching, but they’re looking forward to it, have the right equipment, and the weather is clear. But for a child who struggles with reading or doesn’t enjoy it, it can feel like a newbie hiker being forced to climb a mountain in poor conditions, without the proper equipment. Frustrating. Overwhelming. Defeating.

Things that can make your kids hate reading

Required reading

When I was a teacher in an elementary school, it was common practice (and still is for most schools) to tell kids to read at least 20 minutes each day.

Now if your child already loves to read, asking them to read for 20 minutes a day isn’t a chore. But for those kids who hate reading? This is a form of torture. Parents end up in a power struggle with their kids: setting a timer, threatening to take away privileges like screen time, and wasting so much time arguing over this required 20 minutes.

These requirements take the control away from the reader. It says “no matter how you feel or how frustrated you are, you must continue reading, because reading is not for enjoyment.” Not the message we want to send about reading.

When a reader is in control of their own reading, they might read for five minutes today, and then 15 minutes tomorrow. They read according to their stamina, interest, and enjoyment. It’s no longer a power struggle that someone needs to win.

So those required reading logs? Throw them out. Instead of requiring a certain time, just say “read something today.”

If you really feel like its needed, you can keep track of progress with a book tracker that celebrates finishing. Completed a book? YAY! Write it down or color a book on the page. This celebrates the win, without putting it within a constraint.

But even these kind of book trackers can become a burden, so only use them if it really is motivating or fun for your child.

Picking books for them

One of my boys was a late reader. When he began to read, he didn’t enjoy it much. He turned his nose up at all the books that his older brothers had enjoyed.

One day, he came across the I Survived series. If you aren’t familiar, this series takes real historical events (like hurricanes, earthquakes, tsunamis, etc.), and retells them through the perspective of a fictional character who was there during the disaster. He was hooked. He asked me to get more books in the series (and of course, I said yes!).

Soon he discovered books about a dog that traveled back in time, books about soldiers during WWII, and suddenly… he was a reader.

He had convinced himself that he didn’t like to read. But it turns out, he didn’t actually hate reading. Hee just hadn’t connected with any of the books I had given him to read. As soon as he did, though, his mind was opened to the world of books!

For kids who don’t like to read, forcing them to read the books that we choose is like adding a heavy backpack to the mountain we’re already asking them to climb. So why don’t we lift the burden?

Letting them choose books means that it might not always be a regular chapter book. They might be drawn to magazines, graphic novels, joke books, funny picture books, etc.

Obviously, your kids may not be able to choose every single book all the time, especially as they get older. If there’s a book they need to read for a lesson or a class, we can often utilize read alouds or audiobooks. Don’t use these books to help them gain fluency or become a better reader.

Focusing too much on achievement

The school system (and even most homeschool curricula) puts a lot of focus on achievement. Instead of being designed to get kids to love reading, they’re designed to get kids to move up to the next level, pass the test, or answer the worksheet questions correctly.

This is the fastest way to turn off a disinterested or reluctant reader.

So often, the curriculum or reading program gets in the way of allowing our kids to enjoy reading, because reading becomes something that’s done just for a task. It’s the means to and end, instead of the beginning of a new adventure.

If every hike you take is just to train for more miles or better technique, are you as likely to enjoy the beautiful scenery or wildlife? If every time you go out to dinner with your husband, he quizzed you on the state of your budget or the upcoming bills, it would take all of the fun out of your date night. If every time you made a meal, your family graded you on taste and presentation, you’d start to resent cooking for your family.

If reading is always a chore or associated with an assignment or assessment, it’s no longer fun.

Pushing them to read challenging books

There is a common misconception that if you want your kids to be a better reader, you need to have them read challenging books.

While reading challenging books does stretch a reader, this isn’t the strategy that forms good readers.

Let’s think about some of the skills that good readers need:

• fluency – the ability to read with accuracy, speed, and expression
• comprehension – the ability to understand, make inferences, and engage with the text
• narrative skills – the ability to recount events, retell the story to others, and explain feelings about the story
• phonological skills – the ability to identify, think about, and manipulate the sounds in spoken language

If a child is frustrated by a challenging book, they are focused entirely on phonological skills. They are trying to sound out words, so they can just read the words on the page. The fluency, comprehension, and narrative skills fall to the wayside. And so does the enjoyment.

Do you know what kind of books help kids grow their fluency, comprehension, and narrative skills? Easy books.

Books that are at or even below their reading ability shift the focus from decoding the words on the page to actually understanding the contents of the book. “Easy” books (or rereading books they have already read) help them to build confidence and gain the skills that make them feel like a good reader, instead of a constantly frustrated reader.

So this means, don’t say things like “that book is too easy for you, pick a harder one” or “You read that one before – try a new one.”

Of course, I’m not saying that your child should never read a book that’s above their ability or challenging. Books that are just a little more challenging than their current reading level are a necessary part of helping kids grow as readers.

But when you’re trying to get your kids to enjoy reading and become confident readers, familiar and easy books are actually more important.

As your kids get older and become more confident readers, challenging books become less of a mountain to climb. They aren’t as intimidating, frustrating, or overwhelming – even if the books are difficult!

Practical ways to help your kids enjoy reading

Don’t worry, I’m not going to leave you without any practical ways to make reading more enjoyable! If your kids hate reading or if you just want some more ideas for making reading fun, I put together a list of 37 ways to help your kids (of all ages) enjoy reading.

These are fun, simple ways that you can make everyday reading less of a chore.